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My Herstory

 

I am a guide for healing, awakening and empowering the Divine Feminine within us all.

My journey started as a young girl when I was sexually abused by my older brother. We didn't grow up in the same home, and he was much older than me. I didn't remember any of those memories for about 10+ years after it happened. I realized around age 14 that it wasn't right. I found out not every little girl did that with her older brother. I had been taken advantage of.

I told myself I was used goods. I was forever tainted. I would never be good enough. I was ruined forever and doomed to live a life of shame and hurt.

I was 15 when I finally came out about it. My life was crumbling around me. My family was falling apart - my parents just told me they were getting a divorce due to some messy issues. I had NO ONE to turn to for support. 

I started drinking and using drugs at 14. At age 15, I was hording pills and alcohol and would binge on them, alone. Daily. 

I had a moment of clarity one day when I scared myself by taking too many pills and alcohol together. Looking back, I am grateful to be alive. I was so naïve back then. I told on myself to the school's guidance counselor - that I was drinking by myself every night and that I barely wanted to be alive. 

There went my first stint in treatment. A mental hospital to be exact. It was fucking awful. If you've been to one, I know you know. It was the perfect scenario to scare the living shit out of me. 

I actually got sober in high school after that. I was in an IOP, went to meetings, got a sponsor, did some step work. Until my boyfriend who was selling pot finally offered me some... lol, and I agreed. And there went a year 1/2 down the drain. But it was the seed that was perfectly planted that forever ruined my drinking and drug use. I would never be able to "freely" use again without wondering deep down if I was really an addict or not.

I stayed in my addiction for another three years. They were dark.

I met a guy soon after my relapse that I was IMMEDIATELY addicted to. Toxic men were forever my core addiction. The secretive, bad, wrong, toxic and emotionally unavailable boys were the BEST and worst high I've ever experienced. It was total trauma bonding. This guy brought me through the ringer. He totaled my car, stole my money, hit me in public, gave me black eyes to go to work with, and emotionally, mentally and physically abused me for years. 

During those years in active addiction, I was hooked on pills, partied every night, was homeless, worked at a strip club, was raped, was stolen from, cheated on, used, used other people, ostracized and isolated. That journey into hell ended for me when everyone somewhat close to me left - my abusive boyfriend, all my friends, loved ones were dying and overdosing, and my family was sick of my shit.

I finally surrendered and started to try to get my life back together. I couldn't do it by myself, and I was fortunate enough to get an opportunity at one of the best trauma treatment centers in the world. My last drink was pathetic. I convinced the sober transport (LOL) to let me drink on the way there. I knew in that moment that one was too many and a thousand was never enough. 

In that forest in central Florida, I found God. Spirit, Source, Higher Power - whatever you like it to call it. I was forever touched. I couldn't go back.

I found my calling to be a healer shortly after getting sober at massage school. It was Divine Intervention that got me there (a story for another day), and I healed on a whole other level that I didn't even knew existed - somatically

I spent the next seven years working in addiction treatment centers as a counselor - another level of my healer gifts that I explored and mastered. 

I was introduced to coaching in 2016 when I went through a personal development leadership training, called Gratitude Training. In 90 days, my life completed transformed! I went from a failed relationship with my boyfriend, to getting back together and getting engaged six months later. I went from being undervalued at my job to getting a promotion within six months to Program Manager. I started doing Recovery Coaching then and planted the seeds for my own coaching business.

Life was taking off big time. 

In 2018, everything changed when I found out I was pregnant. 

I hadn't been happy at my job for quite some time, but when I found out I was pregnant, I put in my notice the next day. I could not and would not bring a child into this world while living the life I was. I knew I was going to be a stand for this innocent child, and it started the moment I knew she was conceived.

This was the launch of my Saturn return - in Capricorn. So naturally, I went off to start a business with my husband - an intensive outpatient program for those in recovery from addiction. Long story short, it failed miserably. We had a business partner relationship that went sour, we lost all funding and closed that business the week our daughter was born. So many powerful business initiations that happened in that experience. 

Meanwhile, my Mary Magdalene Awakening was coming on full force. Click HERE to learn more about that. My daughter was my first Rose sister. My husband was the channel for her name (her middle name is Rose), and I was called to working with the Rose within the next year after her birth. I experienced the remembrance of the Rose Lineage since her birth (I believe she came here to be that guide for me), and all of my work has grown from that knowing.

It's been such a beautiful journey!

I have birthed all my work from my past experience, my spiritual awakenings, all the shadow alchemical work I've completed throughout this life - all to be a guide for other womxn who are called to embark on this journey. 

I believe I am a healer, through and through. 

I am honored to be one of the chosen ones in this lifetime to do this work.

I wish nothing more but to be a stand for you in your journey. 

Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing sacred space with me.

I love you.

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My Vision

I am committed to being a stand for my daughter, myself, my family, and all womxn in the world who don't see their worth or live the life they truly desire so that the Feminine can continue to RISE and heal the world. 

I dream of living in financial abundance where I can give my daughter the life she deserves - attending school at a local coop where she can learn to respect, love and take care of our Mother Earth, live off the land and create the life SHE wants, instead of what our societal constructs want for their own benefit. 

 

I dream of having a large piece of property in the rural mountains of western North Carolina, the land of the Cherokee / Qualla people where I can take care of this land, respect it and preserve it - to honor this land.

I dream of living with my family, having a self-sustaining eco-farm where I can grow my own food, tend to animals that provide for us, and live in community with my Beloveds (friends and family).

 

I dream of having an abundance of income (all money raised outside of $5k monthly) that I can donate to nonprofit organizations that I can get behind to help them continue to do the powerful work they do - locally and globally.

 

I dream of creating a nonprofit organization internationally to help women who are enslaved in sex-trafficking and women who don't have the resources to provide for themselves.

I dream of raising money to gift to these women so they can launch and learn to grow their own businesses so they can live sustainable lives, not dependent on others.

I dream of hosting workshops and retreats to teach women internationally Rape Aggression Defense so that they can feel and live safely in this world.

 

I dream of living a humble life with my family, in the mountains, continuing to heal myself and being a facilitator and guide for others to heal themselves.

I dream of living in financial freedom - free from debt and the ability to give generously. 

I share this for those who may choose to invest in my services know where their money is going.

 

Thank you for seeing me,

Amber